Helen Mirren is one of my sHeros, and her character in the Yellowstone series feels like her. Fierce. Strong. Courageous. I agree with her take:
"I don't want to age gracefully, I want to age disgracefully. Ageing is a cause for celebration and the reality is that it's a non-stop adventure."
What I fault about facial plastic surgery is when the facial skin is pulled back poorly and the lips are plumped so they look fake.
Demi Moore in the Landman series surprised hubs and me. There is only a glimmer of resemblance to her younger self, but it was one of the best jobs I've ever seen.
I've been humming and hawing about watching Yellowstone, I didn't realise Helen Mirren was in it. It's now on my list. Thanks for that. I think some plastic surgery is kinder than others, is that down to the way it's done or the surgeon, I don't know? But Joan Collins the British actress, now in her 90s had something done to her face two or three years ago and she looked amazing. You say Demi Moore is the same. Maybe it's improving. Maybe society needs to stop knocking women's confidence so they feel they need to go through these procedures. Anyway, thank you, Donna, for your contribution to this discussion. Appreciate it.
I honestly think that Madonna and Dolly Parton are made to do these things. They have especially pushed to sexualize grandma. It’s crude and in our faces. Like Dolly dressing up in a Dallas Cowboy skin suit. People who commented negatively, got pounded by others saying, “she beautiful and y’all are jealous. Naw, we weren’t jealous. We saw it for what it was. A crude rendition of what a woman is. An old lady in drag. A poser, pretending to be youthful and fertile. And we were all supposed to celebrate her youthfulness, and be amazed by her fake beauty.
Madonna, reminds me of the cat lady. Plastic surgery gone too far.
And Pamala Andersen just wants attention. She takes it too far. Total washed out face that doesn’t match her outfits or her bleached blond hair. One would think she’d ditch the hair dye and put on a little lipstick.
Thank you, Te, for your very honest opinion. You've given us food for thought in your not holding back. I appreciate your commenting on this, perhaps controversial post.
I was going to respond to this article until I read your comment. You nailed it and said pretty much exactly what I was going to say. And it's funny. You gave the exact women I would mentioned as examples. Extremes of this nature either scream "I still want attention, I'm relevant, or I'm not letting go."
Madonna has been getting work done since she was in her 30s. I know this because we used to go to the same doctor and we're the same age. I do some work (even today) on my skin also, though no plastic surgery or drastic work, just softening the blows from smoking, drinking, and years of staying out late. One thing that comes to mind. That doctor we consulted was a skilled skincare guy who ended up committing suicide. (https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-news/dr-fredric-brandts-suicide-sparks-817608/)
Dr. Brandt was obsessed with perfection. In the three years I visited him, had I been able to afford it, I might have fallen under that same spell. I truly believe this was what started Madonna on her path to where she is today.
And as for the other two you mentioned? One is a beloved celebrity who spreads joy, and as for her age, I think given how she addresses her looks I can only presume it's part of her "celebrity persona." A shtick if you will. I might add that the Super Bowl thing was weird for me to watch, I was almost embarrassed by (or for) her.
You're right, Pamela Anderson is by nature beautiful but for heaven's sake, she's in the public eye, washing herself out isn't doing any of us any favors.
All three are in the public eye. Are we the only country in the world who worships, looks up to, and compares celebrities as beacons for aging?
I don't have anyone I particularly admire for aging. I do what's necessary to keep myself from becoming unrecognizable in my own mirror. Aging isn't easy for or on everyone -- but it is a blessing and a gift and we do the best we can with what we have, I suppose.
Thank you, Patti, for your thoughts on this post. Chasing youthful looks is big business, I know, and I do understand why women do it. There are procedures out there that don't involve drastic surgery that help keep the wrinkles at bay, though. Like you, I do what I can and I'm grateful I'm still here and enjoying life.
Interesting enough it isn't the wrinkles (maybe the crevices do matter a little) that bother me. They can be softened, but the texture of my skin was dramatically different. When estrogen changes the texture (on me) altered drastically. I couldn't take it, haha, so did something about it. If I lived on deserted island without a mirror I probably wouldn't care. I really feel bad for older women having to be in the public eye, and its not just celebrities. Awful enough to deal with the changes while aging, but to have them critically judged, it does much more to our psyche than I care to think about.
In my view, sexiness is not in the plastic surgery but the warmth and little bit of mischief in the eyes. I haven't seen all the people you write about, but Joan Baez looks great! One shouldn't worry about ageing but about thinking like someone who has given up on life.
This hasn't shown up in my feed but I'll find it. I did read the interview you gave about your writing and publishing books and thought it really interesting. You are one of the women on my mind when I wrote the article about older Substack writers who are boomers and challenging ageism by your example. Thank you for joining the discussion.
I wasn’t sure if you read my Substack. That is not a criticism, just a statement, which is why I pointed out the one I did. It’s certainly the case that we can’t read everyone who is worth reading. Thanks for thinking of me. I am one of the oldest on Substack but by no means the oldest, but I do seem to be in good shape, thank goodness. As someone who hated gym as a kid (mainly I hated games and I was no good at competitive sports), it comes as a bit of a surprise to find I am one of the more active now!
Thank you, Patricia. One of the things I'm learning about Substack is that there are a large number of women 80 and over, here. These are the ones that I can remember off the top of my head that I've encountered in my travels around Substack:
@Joan Stommen, @Janice Walton, @Ann Richardson, @Katherine Etsy and yourself, let alone all the sixty and seventy year olds .This is exactly my point in the article. How we boomers are, by example, showing the world how to be old with positivity, and accepting that it's 'not for sissies' as you say but not being daunted. Thank you Patricia for your input. I appreciate it.
Really interesting post that has got me thinking. Ageing is a given we cannot stop the years piling on. I agree with you about Helen Mirren, I also admire Judi Dench and others. However I won’t criticise, or judge others for the ageing choices they make. That is another advantage of ageing, the wisdom not to judge and condemn others.
Plastic surgery is now part of everyday life across the ages and genders. I find it more difficult when I see beautiful young people, female and male, who have had turkey teeth, can’t smile etc. rather than older people. I am one of those who has ditched the makeup, look pasty faced, grey haired and an old curmudgeon. However, I am ageing my way disgracefully. But that is my choice, plus I can’t be bothered. Is Madonna not ageing disgracefully?
Whilst up to a point I agree with HM, ageing is not always a cause for celebration. For many it is lonely, difficult, insecure and uncertain. It is not always possible to be that role model for an ageing society, although I would dispute there is one role model. We each age I our own way, but are often restricted by circumstances and our history.
Thank you, Jo, for your observations. At the heart of my post is ageism and how to counteract it. In my opinion Madonna missed a chance to be at the forefront of counteracting ageism by further idealising youth. But, as you say, we are all different and we are all dealing with life in our own way. I appreciate your input into this discussion.
Hollywood stars are under excruciating pressure to continue to look young and "f*able." The result is that they trade in their individuality for faux youth. They look sort of generically faux-young, but they are unrecognizable as the same people.
Exactly that. Hollywood stars do it to get or stay in work and singers to stay relevant. As I pointed out in the article there are singers who don't resort to denying their age with surgery and they are still relevant. But I can't think of a female Hollywood star who has not had 'work done' on her face as she's aged. Thank you for your thought-provoking input, Annie.
I really enjoyed reading your article. I turned 60 last year and am embracing the process of physical aging. I mention "physical" because, mentally, I don’t feel any older than I did in my 30s. The person I see in the mirror doesn't quite reflect that, of course. However, the other day, a gentleman guessed my age to be 50!
Regardless, I don't place much importance on age. I do value health and believe that if you've taken care of yourself physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually, you will age well.
Hi Meredith, I like the way you don't feel your age. This is how I am about my age. I wrote an article you might like to read about being 'ageless'. I've taken the paywall off so I hope you can still read the post I refer to here, I'd really like you to read it: https://patriciacusack.substack.com/p/ageless-with-a-well-developed-funny. Thank you for commenting on the Madonna post. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Don't you think it's time for women to stop shaming and judging other women for their choices? Any woman in her late 60's or 70's who has kept her health and fitness in check enough to endure a grueling tour schedule and stage performance (and entertain a younger man!) surely is doing something right.
It's always sad and a bit shocking when famous people try to take on a much younger persona rather than embrace their current age. It would be wonderful if they did not feel so driven to hide who they are. I appreciate your pointing out the many women role models who are aging without apologies and offering a stronger version of themselves.
Aging is not a choice. How we deal with it is. The problem for old people is that society has only had a very short time to begin adjusting to old people as a major part of our modern society. I love that newly menopausal women are rebelling against the old ideas of aging. There is hope for change. I try to put myself out there as a positive role model for the 70s and younger. I enjoy reading your posts.
There is certainly hope for change with the new positive attitude that most women have about ageing. It's good that you're one of those women who want to show by example that being older is not about changing who you are. Thank you, Val for your input, I'm so pleased you enjoy my posts. :-)
Thank you for this post Patricia. Our culture is afraid of death, cannot grieve properly, or sit in discomfort. The hyperfocus on looking and acting immature are indicators of this.
Hopefully, enough of us are attempting to live deeper and more meaningful lives than the superficial type we have been conditioned to inhabit.
A side effect of living this way, closer to truth, which includes the truth that we are part of nature, is that our external self tends to retain its resiliency longer. But that is just a byproduct of living more holistically.
Thank you, Betty. Much appreciated.
Helen Mirren is one of my sHeros, and her character in the Yellowstone series feels like her. Fierce. Strong. Courageous. I agree with her take:
"I don't want to age gracefully, I want to age disgracefully. Ageing is a cause for celebration and the reality is that it's a non-stop adventure."
What I fault about facial plastic surgery is when the facial skin is pulled back poorly and the lips are plumped so they look fake.
Demi Moore in the Landman series surprised hubs and me. There is only a glimmer of resemblance to her younger self, but it was one of the best jobs I've ever seen.
I've been humming and hawing about watching Yellowstone, I didn't realise Helen Mirren was in it. It's now on my list. Thanks for that. I think some plastic surgery is kinder than others, is that down to the way it's done or the surgeon, I don't know? But Joan Collins the British actress, now in her 90s had something done to her face two or three years ago and she looked amazing. You say Demi Moore is the same. Maybe it's improving. Maybe society needs to stop knocking women's confidence so they feel they need to go through these procedures. Anyway, thank you, Donna, for your contribution to this discussion. Appreciate it.
I honestly think that Madonna and Dolly Parton are made to do these things. They have especially pushed to sexualize grandma. It’s crude and in our faces. Like Dolly dressing up in a Dallas Cowboy skin suit. People who commented negatively, got pounded by others saying, “she beautiful and y’all are jealous. Naw, we weren’t jealous. We saw it for what it was. A crude rendition of what a woman is. An old lady in drag. A poser, pretending to be youthful and fertile. And we were all supposed to celebrate her youthfulness, and be amazed by her fake beauty.
Madonna, reminds me of the cat lady. Plastic surgery gone too far.
And Pamala Andersen just wants attention. She takes it too far. Total washed out face that doesn’t match her outfits or her bleached blond hair. One would think she’d ditch the hair dye and put on a little lipstick.
My two cents.. lol
Thank you, Te, for your very honest opinion. You've given us food for thought in your not holding back. I appreciate your commenting on this, perhaps controversial post.
I was going to respond to this article until I read your comment. You nailed it and said pretty much exactly what I was going to say. And it's funny. You gave the exact women I would mentioned as examples. Extremes of this nature either scream "I still want attention, I'm relevant, or I'm not letting go."
Madonna has been getting work done since she was in her 30s. I know this because we used to go to the same doctor and we're the same age. I do some work (even today) on my skin also, though no plastic surgery or drastic work, just softening the blows from smoking, drinking, and years of staying out late. One thing that comes to mind. That doctor we consulted was a skilled skincare guy who ended up committing suicide. (https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-news/dr-fredric-brandts-suicide-sparks-817608/)
Dr. Brandt was obsessed with perfection. In the three years I visited him, had I been able to afford it, I might have fallen under that same spell. I truly believe this was what started Madonna on her path to where she is today.
And as for the other two you mentioned? One is a beloved celebrity who spreads joy, and as for her age, I think given how she addresses her looks I can only presume it's part of her "celebrity persona." A shtick if you will. I might add that the Super Bowl thing was weird for me to watch, I was almost embarrassed by (or for) her.
You're right, Pamela Anderson is by nature beautiful but for heaven's sake, she's in the public eye, washing herself out isn't doing any of us any favors.
All three are in the public eye. Are we the only country in the world who worships, looks up to, and compares celebrities as beacons for aging?
I don't have anyone I particularly admire for aging. I do what's necessary to keep myself from becoming unrecognizable in my own mirror. Aging isn't easy for or on everyone -- but it is a blessing and a gift and we do the best we can with what we have, I suppose.
Thank you, Patti, for your thoughts on this post. Chasing youthful looks is big business, I know, and I do understand why women do it. There are procedures out there that don't involve drastic surgery that help keep the wrinkles at bay, though. Like you, I do what I can and I'm grateful I'm still here and enjoying life.
Interesting enough it isn't the wrinkles (maybe the crevices do matter a little) that bother me. They can be softened, but the texture of my skin was dramatically different. When estrogen changes the texture (on me) altered drastically. I couldn't take it, haha, so did something about it. If I lived on deserted island without a mirror I probably wouldn't care. I really feel bad for older women having to be in the public eye, and its not just celebrities. Awful enough to deal with the changes while aging, but to have them critically judged, it does much more to our psyche than I care to think about.
In my view, sexiness is not in the plastic surgery but the warmth and little bit of mischief in the eyes. I haven't seen all the people you write about, but Joan Baez looks great! One shouldn't worry about ageing but about thinking like someone who has given up on life.
PS. You might like the piece I published yesterday on being told I had 'potential' at the age of 83. A lot of people did.
This hasn't shown up in my feed but I'll find it. I did read the interview you gave about your writing and publishing books and thought it really interesting. You are one of the women on my mind when I wrote the article about older Substack writers who are boomers and challenging ageism by your example. Thank you for joining the discussion.
I wasn’t sure if you read my Substack. That is not a criticism, just a statement, which is why I pointed out the one I did. It’s certainly the case that we can’t read everyone who is worth reading. Thanks for thinking of me. I am one of the oldest on Substack but by no means the oldest, but I do seem to be in good shape, thank goodness. As someone who hated gym as a kid (mainly I hated games and I was no good at competitive sports), it comes as a bit of a surprise to find I am one of the more active now!
Great article. I admire Helen Mirren, Judi Dench and Myril Streep. They are such good examples of ageing well.
I’m 80 and my birthday has been a huge turning point.
I am happier now than I’ve ever been and while ageing is not for sissies, there’s a lot to be said for it for me.
Thank you, Patricia. One of the things I'm learning about Substack is that there are a large number of women 80 and over, here. These are the ones that I can remember off the top of my head that I've encountered in my travels around Substack:
@Joan Stommen, @Janice Walton, @Ann Richardson, @Katherine Etsy and yourself, let alone all the sixty and seventy year olds .This is exactly my point in the article. How we boomers are, by example, showing the world how to be old with positivity, and accepting that it's 'not for sissies' as you say but not being daunted. Thank you Patricia for your input. I appreciate it.
Really interesting post that has got me thinking. Ageing is a given we cannot stop the years piling on. I agree with you about Helen Mirren, I also admire Judi Dench and others. However I won’t criticise, or judge others for the ageing choices they make. That is another advantage of ageing, the wisdom not to judge and condemn others.
Plastic surgery is now part of everyday life across the ages and genders. I find it more difficult when I see beautiful young people, female and male, who have had turkey teeth, can’t smile etc. rather than older people. I am one of those who has ditched the makeup, look pasty faced, grey haired and an old curmudgeon. However, I am ageing my way disgracefully. But that is my choice, plus I can’t be bothered. Is Madonna not ageing disgracefully?
Whilst up to a point I agree with HM, ageing is not always a cause for celebration. For many it is lonely, difficult, insecure and uncertain. It is not always possible to be that role model for an ageing society, although I would dispute there is one role model. We each age I our own way, but are often restricted by circumstances and our history.
Thank you, Jo, for your observations. At the heart of my post is ageism and how to counteract it. In my opinion Madonna missed a chance to be at the forefront of counteracting ageism by further idealising youth. But, as you say, we are all different and we are all dealing with life in our own way. I appreciate your input into this discussion.
I think it is an inner confidence and wisdom which makes a woman truly beautiful.
I agree, Jane, inner confidence and wisdom shining through a woman's eyes is truly beautiful.
I've recently noticed crows feet around my eyes. I've been waiting for them and I think they are cool
Hollywood stars are under excruciating pressure to continue to look young and "f*able." The result is that they trade in their individuality for faux youth. They look sort of generically faux-young, but they are unrecognizable as the same people.
Exactly that. Hollywood stars do it to get or stay in work and singers to stay relevant. As I pointed out in the article there are singers who don't resort to denying their age with surgery and they are still relevant. But I can't think of a female Hollywood star who has not had 'work done' on her face as she's aged. Thank you for your thought-provoking input, Annie.
Hi Patricia,
I really enjoyed reading your article. I turned 60 last year and am embracing the process of physical aging. I mention "physical" because, mentally, I don’t feel any older than I did in my 30s. The person I see in the mirror doesn't quite reflect that, of course. However, the other day, a gentleman guessed my age to be 50!
Regardless, I don't place much importance on age. I do value health and believe that if you've taken care of yourself physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually, you will age well.
I look forward to reading more of your articles 🤍
Hi Meredith, I like the way you don't feel your age. This is how I am about my age. I wrote an article you might like to read about being 'ageless'. I've taken the paywall off so I hope you can still read the post I refer to here, I'd really like you to read it: https://patriciacusack.substack.com/p/ageless-with-a-well-developed-funny. Thank you for commenting on the Madonna post. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Wonderful. I can read it and will do so shortly. Thank you.
Don't you think it's time for women to stop shaming and judging other women for their choices? Any woman in her late 60's or 70's who has kept her health and fitness in check enough to endure a grueling tour schedule and stage performance (and entertain a younger man!) surely is doing something right.
It's always sad and a bit shocking when famous people try to take on a much younger persona rather than embrace their current age. It would be wonderful if they did not feel so driven to hide who they are. I appreciate your pointing out the many women role models who are aging without apologies and offering a stronger version of themselves.
Thank you, Gail, for your comment. It's much appreciated.
Aging is not a choice. How we deal with it is. The problem for old people is that society has only had a very short time to begin adjusting to old people as a major part of our modern society. I love that newly menopausal women are rebelling against the old ideas of aging. There is hope for change. I try to put myself out there as a positive role model for the 70s and younger. I enjoy reading your posts.
There is certainly hope for change with the new positive attitude that most women have about ageing. It's good that you're one of those women who want to show by example that being older is not about changing who you are. Thank you, Val for your input, I'm so pleased you enjoy my posts. :-)
Thank you for this post Patricia. Our culture is afraid of death, cannot grieve properly, or sit in discomfort. The hyperfocus on looking and acting immature are indicators of this.
Hopefully, enough of us are attempting to live deeper and more meaningful lives than the superficial type we have been conditioned to inhabit.
A side effect of living this way, closer to truth, which includes the truth that we are part of nature, is that our external self tends to retain its resiliency longer. But that is just a byproduct of living more holistically.
💗🙏🏽
Thank you for your input into this discussion, Maria. You have added a very thoughtful and insightful comment. I appreciate that.