I just thought I'd add my experience to the myth about aging and loneliness. Loneliness and solitude aren't the same things. I also decided to stop all the volunteering and socializing within my community when I retired so I could devote most of my time to more solitary pursuits, especially reading and writing. I have never known greater freedom and happiness than I've experienced by "withdrawing" from the "need to socialize." While it's true that I have pets and I keep in daily touch with friends and family by text or phone, one of the greatest gifts I've experienced in aging is the privilege to enjoy my own company. It's the most alive I've ever felt. I suspect there are many older people who feel as I do.
Yes, Elizabeth, it's true you can live in solitude and not be lonely. I'm one of those older people, who, like you, live alone and enjoy their own company. I don't have pets, but I have family and friends, the internet and phone. My writing and painting keep me too busy to be lonely. There will be many other people like us, I'm sure. Thank you for that alternative aspect of ageing and loneliness.
I am 68, retired at 60, and totally agree with Elizabeth - so far these past 8 years have been the best of my life. Reading, gardening, crafting and thrifting.
My husband is still here also, and I’m enjoying his company more now than I ever did while raising kids and working.
I see my grandkids, have a few friends that I see occasionally and have both my parents still. (Ages 90, and 88). They are slowing down, but still mentally active.
This is more than enough to keep me busy! And they are all a blessing!
Your grandmother was an inspiration to have lived so long! So Ethel Caterham's contention that she never argued could well be one of the reasons for her extra long life.
Could be. She grew up 3rd in a family of 8 children. She chose peace over conflict because she said she “could.” No one “paid her much attention,” she said, and “being out of the spotlight” taught her the value of “self-containment and watchful calm.'“ She was, of course, from a very different era. And by temperament she was shy.
Other possible reasons for her long life: she was physically active into her late 80s, a teacher who read and worked crossword puzzles in pen into her early 90s, and grew her own vegetables and ate a healthy diet (virtually no ultra processed foods). She also came from early American pioneer stock -- hardy people. 😉
Your grandmother did all the things we are now advocating for longevity. She must have avoided smoking and eating the new fad: ultra-processed foods. Her genes and her lifestyle combined to make the perfect combination for a long life. Definitely an inspiration.
Never smoked or drank. She kept a jug of fresh well-water in the fridge, and, every hour, she took 15 sips. That, a cup of tea, and her morning orange juice were it.
Wonderful article, Patricia! Thank you for introducing us to Ethel. Keeping cultivating peace with yourself comes up again and again and studies of those who live past 100. Such a great reminder!
Thank you Brodee! I was intrigued when I read that comment by Ethel Caterham. But Elizabeth's amazing grandmother had the same belief, so there has to be something in it. Peace with yourself I can understand, but not arguing with others is something I've got to work on as an active feminist with strong political views! I like Ethel's final comment in my post, 'be positive and everything in moderation'. That's a lesson we can all take on board.
I'm not sure about the arguing thing, my grandfather never argued, he wouldn't allow it in his house either, but died in his 60s. I suppose finding people who don't argue to do a longevity study on them might be tricky, it could be interesting though
I just thought I'd add my experience to the myth about aging and loneliness. Loneliness and solitude aren't the same things. I also decided to stop all the volunteering and socializing within my community when I retired so I could devote most of my time to more solitary pursuits, especially reading and writing. I have never known greater freedom and happiness than I've experienced by "withdrawing" from the "need to socialize." While it's true that I have pets and I keep in daily touch with friends and family by text or phone, one of the greatest gifts I've experienced in aging is the privilege to enjoy my own company. It's the most alive I've ever felt. I suspect there are many older people who feel as I do.
Yes, Elizabeth, it's true you can live in solitude and not be lonely. I'm one of those older people, who, like you, live alone and enjoy their own company. I don't have pets, but I have family and friends, the internet and phone. My writing and painting keep me too busy to be lonely. There will be many other people like us, I'm sure. Thank you for that alternative aspect of ageing and loneliness.
I am 68, retired at 60, and totally agree with Elizabeth - so far these past 8 years have been the best of my life. Reading, gardening, crafting and thrifting.
My husband is still here also, and I’m enjoying his company more now than I ever did while raising kids and working.
I see my grandkids, have a few friends that I see occasionally and have both my parents still. (Ages 90, and 88). They are slowing down, but still mentally active.
This is more than enough to keep me busy! And they are all a blessing!
What a blessed life you lead, Teresa, with all of your family still with you in retirement. May you have many more years of enjoying what you have.
Thank you! It is one of those every day miracles.
#10 is so important!
I agree Elizabeth!
I meant to add that my grandmother, who lived to be a few months shy of 100, made it a point never to argue.
Your grandmother was an inspiration to have lived so long! So Ethel Caterham's contention that she never argued could well be one of the reasons for her extra long life.
Could be. She grew up 3rd in a family of 8 children. She chose peace over conflict because she said she “could.” No one “paid her much attention,” she said, and “being out of the spotlight” taught her the value of “self-containment and watchful calm.'“ She was, of course, from a very different era. And by temperament she was shy.
Other possible reasons for her long life: she was physically active into her late 80s, a teacher who read and worked crossword puzzles in pen into her early 90s, and grew her own vegetables and ate a healthy diet (virtually no ultra processed foods). She also came from early American pioneer stock -- hardy people. 😉
Your grandmother did all the things we are now advocating for longevity. She must have avoided smoking and eating the new fad: ultra-processed foods. Her genes and her lifestyle combined to make the perfect combination for a long life. Definitely an inspiration.
Never smoked or drank. She kept a jug of fresh well-water in the fridge, and, every hour, she took 15 sips. That, a cup of tea, and her morning orange juice were it.
What an amazing woman she was.
Wonderful article, Patricia! Thank you for introducing us to Ethel. Keeping cultivating peace with yourself comes up again and again and studies of those who live past 100. Such a great reminder!
Thank you Brodee! I was intrigued when I read that comment by Ethel Caterham. But Elizabeth's amazing grandmother had the same belief, so there has to be something in it. Peace with yourself I can understand, but not arguing with others is something I've got to work on as an active feminist with strong political views! I like Ethel's final comment in my post, 'be positive and everything in moderation'. That's a lesson we can all take on board.
I'm not sure about the arguing thing, my grandfather never argued, he wouldn't allow it in his house either, but died in his 60s. I suppose finding people who don't argue to do a longevity study on them might be tricky, it could be interesting though
I agree, Steve, the results would be interesting.
Yes, true true! You wonder how much that culture contributed to their family longevity.