The Subtle Art of Self-Deception You Need To Avoid

One man's delusions about his unhealthy lifestyle + Arms Swinging

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Do you know someone with this level of self-deception. Are we all capable of it ourselves when it comes to food?

Photo by RUMEYSA AYDIN on Unsplash

The Subtle Art of Self-Deception

Many people live life behind a veil of self-deception. I see it in friends who refuse to acknowledge the link between their poor diet and lack of exercise and their health issues. It’s not that they have decided to consciously ignore the warnings and live with the consequences; it’s that they are in denial of hard truths.

They’re fooling themselves that the daily cake or biscuit and their abundantly growing waistline are not harming them. To admit the opposite means they will have to face up to the use of will power to deny themselves the daily treats. They become masters and mistresses of the art of self-deception. It prevents them from leading a life based on reality and authenticity which could be fulfilling instead of a source of regret.

Self-deception can be a coping mechanism that helps us avoid painful realities. No doubt, we’re all capable of it. We probably even do it without being aware. There are many reasons for the use of self-deception, besides the avoidance of taking responsibility for our actions, like those friends with an overly sweet tooth.

Cambridge Dictionary: Self-deception definition: the act of hiding the truth from yourself.

When I began this article, I had in mind two friends in particular, both with very large waistlines, addicted to daily biscuits and cakes. One is in his sixties, the other in his late seventies. The latter has just received a diagnosis of diabetes, and he’s shell-shocked at the news. This, despite my constant urging him to eat more healthily and smaller portions, as well as to exercise to lose weight.

His ability to delude himself about the seriousness of his health situation was so finely tuned that he even talked about living well into his nineties, without considering the need to change anything about his self-indulgent lifestyle to make that a possibility. So, when the to me, half-expected diagnosis arrived, he was in shock. His doctor gave him a booklet outlining steps to improve his health, such as suggestions for a healthy diet and exercises to reduce the overly large waistline circling his 16 stone frame.

When he told me of his diagnosis, he was clearly still traumatised and wanted to dwell on how he’d got himself in this predicament. I suggested that instead of looking back, we move forward and plan what to do about it. Together, we worked out a shopping list for his new, health-focused life, which included a store cupboard of nutritious food, along with meal plans.

Let food be thy medicine and medicine thy food. Hippocrates

He’s a pescatarian, so the list included beans, grains, extra virgin olive oil, tinned fish, fresh vegetables, eggs, cheese, nuts, Greek yoghurt, and more. His freezer isn’t working, so frozen fish and vegetables weren’t an option. We also talked about exercise. This was a sticking point. His only exercise had been walking to the shop down the road to buy his cakes, cigars, biscuits, ready made sandwiches etc, and to restaurants for his occasional meal out.

I suggested the various routes around the streets in his vicinity that he could walk to build up the 7.500 daily steps the booklet recommended. His response wasn’t reassuring that he intended to take any walks. The veil of self-deception is still hanging over this issue. He said he’d count the steps he took around his flat. When I phoned to find out if he’d been on the food shopping expedition, he said he had and had made the large bowl of delicious salad I’d suggested. He’d had different protein sources with it each day.

Bean & Rice Salad

The salad had 11 ingredients: beans, chickpeas, rice and quinoa as a base, then he added sun-dried tomatoes, having drizzled some of the oil over the bean base, cucumber, pepper, salad onions, celery, cherry tomatoes, and grated carrot. His microbiome will need rebuilding with diverse, healthy bacteria, after so long eating sweet foods that lack nutrition. This was a good start. I also recommended he get kefir live yoghurt that had 12 types of bacteria in it, as well as the Greek yoghurt. I forgot to ask if he did this.

He enthused about his new diet but wondered what to do for snacks when he felt ‘nibbly’. This was when the biscuits usually came in. I suggested fruit - apples or oranges, but he said he’d been told that the fructose in fruit was just as bad as sucrose when you have diabetes, so we decided on just a few nuts, a couple of rice cakes with nut butter or a hard-boiled egg.

“I can feel it doing me good already,” he stated positively, about the meals he’d been eating. His addictive personality and capacity for self-deception make me wonder how long his enthusiasm for this new regime will last. I’m not too optimistic.

Arms Swinging - (By A Recommended Substack Writer)

There’s much more to Promise, the name of an ex-Buddhist monk, now writing here on Substack, than arms swinging. A note about this exercise he’d written drew me to his newsletter, which is titled Mental Health Revolution. I’ve seen arms swinging performed by Buddhist monks on YouTube and include it in my morning stretching routine. I find it invigorating.

I want to share Promise’s work with you, especially his article on arms swinging, so here’s a link. You might like to check out the rest of his output on meditation and online coaching into daily wellness habits from a Buddhist perspective.

Discussion

Do you know someone with that level of self-deception? Are we capable of it ourselves when it comes to food?

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Disclaimer: The content of my posts is for general informational purposes only and should not be considered medical, physical, psychological, health, or wellness advice. Do not make decisions based on this content alone. Always consult a qualified health professional. What I share here is meant to provide information to help you explore what’s right for you.