7 Things to Avoid in The Second Half of Life
Plus 3 Substack Recommendations
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7 Things to Avoid in the Second Half of Life
The first thing to avoid is talking about yourself negatively, refer to yourself as “old” as little as possible, regardless of your age. There’s too much negativity about being older, so best not to add to it. Negativity about age encourages ageism. We need to change that narrative. I hear older people say they can no longer do something they used to be able to do “because I’m old now”. In fact, they can’t do that something because their body has deteriorated so they can’t move as well as they used to. Decline in old age is not a given, we can work at it so that it doesn’t happen. We have a choice.
Baroness Joan Bakewell is an author, playwright, Sky Arts TV presenter and President of Birkbeck, University of London. She is in her nineties and still working. I was listening to a radio discussion that questioned, when do we become old? During the discussion, someone asked Joan Bakewell when she thought she became old. Her answer was when she was ninety. So, age is very much in the mind and negative self-talk doesn’t help.
Next is something everyone should avoid. Researchers have found that palm oil has carcinogenic properties, and although individual food items containing it may not have much, it is present in so many different products that it accumulates to a level that is detrimental to health.
It’s also bad for the planet as it is the cause of much deforestation; multinational companies remove natural forests to plant trees that produce palm oil. It’s surprising how many food products contain it, as I found when I wanted to buy nut butter and other spreads, so checking labels is important to avoid it.
Thirdly, don’t think of yourself as older than your chronological age. In a scientific research study, people were asked how old they felt and chose their answer from one of three responses: I’m younger than my actual age; I’m the same as my actual age; I’m older than my actual age. The people who answered that they felt younger than their actual age had more positive biological test results than those who felt they were their actual age or older.
It was also found that it was not just down to performance, brain scans revealed increased grey matter volume in the areas associated with language, speech and sound. So people who feel younger actually have the structural characteristics of a younger brain. Researchers don’t know for sure whether it’s the younger brain structure affecting the sense of being younger in those with a younger subjective age or whether they are physically and mentally more active, which has created the physical changes in the brain.
Those who feel older may have unthinkingly adopted the stereotype of the older adult and become less active and agile, which affects their cognitive abilities. So the saying “you are only as old as you feel” has much truth in it.
Fourthly, how we treat our body is important. Avoid, not only a sedentary lifestyle, but a poor diet, too. A recent scientific research study found that moving for five minutes every hour was more beneficial than a long walk after sitting for several hours. So, get up, walk around, stretch, squat, just be active for five minutes after sitting for an hour. We need to be as healthy as we can be when we are older, and processed, unhealthy foods are bad for us. Foods that are simple and nutritious ensure our body is functioning well.
Number five. Avoid Isolation which can lead to a feeling of loneliness. We humans are social animals and need to interact for the sake of our mental health. Of course, some people choose isolation and if they don’t feel lonely, it’s not a problem. It’s loneliness that is the killer. New research has found that feeling lonely or socially isolated is associated with an increased risk of premature death.
Connecting is important to avoid feeling lonely, especially if we live alone. Keeping a diary and adding dates with friends and family, films and events that we plan to go to, can help us feel that life is busy. It’s often boredom that can lead to a feeling of being lonely. Joining local groups of interest and meeting new people, some of whom could become friends, can alleviate loneliness.
Avoid dwelling in the past is number six. The past is gone, you can’t change it or relive it. Enjoy what you have in the present. Make the most of your time now. Embrace new technology, learn new skills like a language or a craft, make new friends, visit new places. The old and familiar are comforting but new scenery and innovation benefit the brain.
Finally, the seventh thing to avoid in the third age is the fear of change. The American writer and Designer, Edith Wharton (1862-1937) has a commendable quote on this
In spite of illness, in spite of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways. Edith Wharton
Substack Recommendations
The following are Substack newsletters I subscribe to and I recommend you check them out.
Doc Talk, Explorations in Psychotherapy
A way you might like to lend one-time support for my work
Join in the Comments below:
Do you welcome change or you afraid of it?
How old do you feel that you are - your actual age. older or younger?
How are you doing with embracing new technology?
I’d love to know what you think about these 7 things I believe we should avoid in older age. If you enjoyed reading the post hit the share button and send it to friends who might enjoy it, too! Tapping the heart icon will show you liked it and it helps others find it. I appreciate your being here and welcome feedback on my work.
I love change. I feel like I'm 50 when in reality, I am 76 years young. And I love technology. Every time we get new devices, my husband refers to me as the technical guru in the family. I look at it like this if I'm going to pay that much money for a watch or a phone or an iPad I better know how to operate every single function.
I've noticed my older relatives dwelling in the past so much. They tell the same stories I've heard hundreds of times. The only new thing they seem to know is what Trump is up to. Becoming a lifelong learner is the only way to avoid dwelling in the past. Read new non-fiction books. Take an online course and get excited about a yoga class so you have something else to talk about. Instead of that one time, this guy named Bob, whom you worked with 400 years ago, did that thing that you need to force everyone else to listen to-- again.